Cultural Calendar March

February 28th

Concert - Lubomyr Melnyk @ Yale Union

Melnyk is a Ukrainian composer and pianist who has the world record for fastest piano playing; he can play over 19 notes per second in each hand simultaneously. If that isn’t enough to get you in the door, this is also Melnyk’s first ever performance in Portland, and his music is beautiful, too. $12 for transcendental piano plinking, y’all.

March 14th

Movie - The Grand Budapest Hotel @ Cinema 21

Hey everyone, new Wes Anderson! Duh. Since I know everyone at Reed is going to swoon about this anyways, there’s no real reason for me to try to get you to go… but this film’s lineup is stacked, even in comparison to other Wes films. Early reports say that this may be his funniest film, if not his most heartfelt. I’m okay with dialing down the twee a bit after Moonrise Kingdom.

March 24th

Concert - St. Vincent @ Crystal Ballroom

Well, the new album is awesome, obviously. I can’t wait to see how it will augment her live show. Annie Clark is one of the best guitarists performing today (she might be the most exciting guitarist I’ve seen live, and I saw J Mascis) and her solos are a sight to behold. Especially combined with her dance moves, which fit perfectly with the glitchy, tweaked-out nature of her music (I’d like to see Mascis do that in high heels!) Funny story, in May 2012, Annie jumped on me. I suppose it was because I was the sturdiest looking dude in the front row, so she figured that I could support her stage dive, but I’m honored nonetheless.

March 28th

Movie - Nymphomaniac Vol. 1 @ Cinema 21

The moment we’ve all been waiting for. The brand new romantic comedy from Lars Von Trier, who has delivered such lighthearted classics as Melancholia and Antichrist. It’ll be a bucket of laughs and love as Jennifer Garner, playing an overworked architect, stumbles into Patrick Dempsey’s Jon, a newly-successful author who can’t seem to write the follow-up to his hit mystery Nymphomaniac, on a subway in NYC on New Year’s Eve, thus changing their lives forever.

Nah, just kidding, this movie’s gonna be depraved, disgusting, and amazing. It’s Von Trier, see it in a theater, where it’s a lot harder to look away.

March 30th

Book Signing - Jimmy Carter - Powell’s

I never thought I would have both Jimmy Carter and nymphomania on the mind at the same time, but I guess he did ‘lust for other women in his heart’ (try and get that reference, nerds!). But honestly, Jimmy is probably my favorite president, mainly because he is the pragmatic answer to the hypothetical question ‘What if Mister Rogers became president?’ (I mean, I guess I did spend a year of middle school researching him, but that’s a different story for a different time). He’s a nice dude, he’s done tons of charity, and he did the best he could in a difficult time. Also, he’s a peanut farmer, and he was attacked by a swamp rabbit. Honestly. Wikipedia that shit.