Love

Kalila jerked her kitchen knife out of the body before her, a gush of blood chasing the blade. It soaked her hands, warm on her clammy skin. The man struggled to breathe through the blood bubbling in his lungs for a moment longer, clawing at her torn jacket, before his heart gave out. He slumped against her, the dead weight forcing her to stagger backwards. She slammed into the kitchen counter, cursing breathlessly at the pain before shoving the man’s body off of her with all of her remaining strength. He hit the tile floor with a sickening thud, the glaze of blood on the ground soaking into his hair.

Kalila forced herself to suck in a breath as the adrenaline deserted her, leaving her shaking and exhausted. The knife slipped out of her trembling fingers and clattered to the floor, coming to rest at the dead man’s feet. She propped a hand on the counter behind her in an attempt to hold herself up as she scanned her apartment.

There had been six men in total, she realized, as she counted the bodies scattered around her kitchen and living room. The realization almost made her proud. Slate was an arrogant bastard; if he had sent six of his best to kill her, it meant even he had a high opinion of her skills.

Not a high enough opinion to get the job done, ​she thought to herself, a bit smugly. 

And then the pain hit.

It was so sudden and so overwhelming that her knees buckled beneath her, her elbow slamming into the kitchen counter as she struggled to keep herself upright. Her pathetic attempt failed, and she hit the ground hard, the tile bruising both of her knees. She curled in on herself, gasping desperately. Another wave of agonizing pain swept through her body, drawing an anguished moan from her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find her bearings somewhere in the sea of pain.

After a moment the torment subsided, enough for her to search for the source. With shaking hands she peeled her jacket off her body, letting it drop into the blood on the kitchen floor. The right side of her abdomen was throbbing, so she forced her shirt up, hissing at the pain of motion.

There, embedded deeply in the skin and muscle beneath her ribcage, was a long, thin blade. Her heart dropped into her stomach, her chest aching with the knowledge of that blade. It was a specialized hollow weapon, carried only by Slate’s Black Wraiths. Designed to hold one of the deadliest poisons known to man. Even a prick meant a painful, certain death.

She could see the black of poison spreading through the veins across her ribs and abdomen, making its way towards her heart and brain. She had maybe an hour before she slipped beyond the reaches of life. Less than that before the muscle spasms and intense pain would make her wish for death.

She could feel panic edging at her senses, threatening to overwhelm her. She struggled against it, trying to ground herself against the thought racing through her mind over and over again: Idon’t want to die.

How desperately she didn’t want to die.

She could feel her chest tightening, feel her cheeks heating, feel her body beginning to shake. She was slipping beyond the reaches of rationality, of calm, into the realm of desperation, of fear.

Suddenly there was a banging at the door, a gruff call of “Package for Kelly Waters,” and then receding footsteps as the delivery man retreated back down the hall. The noise jerked Kalila out of her spiral into panic, grounding her in the blood-soaked silence of her apartment. She drew a ragged breath, the blade shifting slightly in her side and sending a wave of pain through her body.

She waited briefly for the pain to subside before she began shuffling through the blood on her kitchen floor, one hand pressed against her side and the other feeling along the counter above her for her phone. She was beginning to think she’d never find it when her fingers closed around the familiar shape and she breathed a sigh of pained relief.

She dragged her phone off the counter, slumping back against the wall. The poison spread further through her veins with every move she made, and she could feel it like fire inside her. She knew she wasn’t extending her life any through these actions, but it didn’t matter. She had to hear the voice she loved once more before she died. That was more important than a few minutes of anguished existence.

She unlocked her phone with trembling fingers, keeping her right forearm pressed against her side in an attempt to keep the blade from moving and causing her any additional pain. She could hear nothing but her shattered breaths and the stumbling beat of her own heart, the silence of her apartment almost suffocating. She scrolled through her contacts as quickly as she could, pulling up her girlfriend’s name and number in between waves of agony. Alouette’s smiling face stared back at her from her contact picture, and the wave of affection that swept through Kalila made her struggling heart ache.

Before she could hesitate, before she could stop herself from carrying out this awful idea, she pressed call.

Kalila held the phone to her ear with her left hand, composing herself while it rang. Alouette picked up on the fourth ring, her breathless voice filling Kalila’s ear. Her heart skipped a beat.

“My love, hello!” Alouette said, her tone bright. “Why did you call?”

Kalila couldn’t help her slight smile, the expression breaking through despite the overwhelming pain of the poison winding its way towards her heart. “Hello to you too,” she said, her voice a bit rough. “Do I need a reason?”

Alouette gave a little laugh. “Of course not. It’s just a little late.” There was still a hint of breathlessness to her words.

“Are you ok?” Kalila asked, a stab of worry piercing her heart. She didn’t think Slate knew about Alouette, but she couldn’t be sure. “You sound a little out of breath.”

“Oh I’m fine! I just got back from the grocery, and you know how the stairs to my apartment always take me out.”

Kalila managed a chuckle, the sound dying a bit on the end as the pain choked it out of her lungs. “Those damn stairs,” she murmured.

Alouette laughed. “What about you? How are you?”

Kalila was almost certain her heart would burst for how much it ached. She struggled against her closing throat. She didn’t want Alouette to know anything was wrong, to worry about her at all. She wanted these last moments of her life to be peaceful, filled with nothing but the one she so desperately loved.

God, how fucking badly she didn’t want to die.

“I’m good,” she managed, leaning her head back against the wall and gritting her teeth as another wave of pain wracked her body. She took a breath. “I just wanted to hear your voice. My favorite sound in the world.”

She could almost hear Alouette’s smile in her response. “You know if you want I could head over to you. We could curl up on your couch, watch a movie.”

Kalila smiled, tears filling her eyes. “That sounds nice.” She tried not to think about the shards of glass littered across her couch, the blood staining its cushions. “But it’s too late. I’m sure you had a full day at work. You need some rest.”

“No,” Alouette countered. “All I need is you.”

Kalila felt a tear escape her right eye and slide down her cheek, warm and wet against the dried blood and sweat on her skin. She forced herself to take another breath. “And you’ll always have me,” she said, even though the words hurt more than the poison in her veins.

Alouette let out a soft, satisfied hum. Kalila could barely suppress a sob at that simple, beautiful sound. She knew it was the last time she would ever hear it.

“I should probably let you put those groceries away,” Kalila said, her voice breaking slightly. “It is getting late, after all.” She wasn’t sure why she said the words. She had no clue what time it was. She knew only that there was moonlight filtering into her apartment through the windows in her living room, illuminating the mess of dried blood and dead bodies. She knew only that she didn’t have long before the poison reached her heart, before she slipped into an agony that would only end in death. She knew only that despite all of that, she desperately didn’t want to say goodbye.

Alouette gave a soft laugh. “The ice cream ​is​ melting all over my counter.”

“An issue of dire importance,” Kalila murmured. Another wave of pain tilted the world on its axis. She shoved down the groan clawing its way up her throat with all of the strength she could muster, moving the phone away so it couldn’t catch even the slightest hint of her pain.

“Obviously,” Alouette replied. “Ice cream is a million times more important in my life than you are.”

Kalila forced a chuckle. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

Alouette was silent for a moment as they simply sat, basking in each other’s presence. Alouette on a stool in her dining room, regarding her melting ice cream with amusement and slight worry. Kalila on the blood-stained floor in her kitchen, her heart slowly tearing in two, poison spreading through her veins.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch, right?” Alouette asked. Kalila could hear a shuffle of movement as her girlfriend stood and began to put her groceries away.

Kalila had forgotten about their scheduled lunch. They were supposed to meet at Alouette’s new favorite restaurant, some little sandwich place near Central Park.

She could feel the tremors begin in her legs, clues that the poison had reached her heart. 

“Of course,” Kalila responded, her voice barely a whisper. “I can’t wait.”

“Good.” Alouette’s voice was full of love and joy, music to Kalila’s ears. “I love you, Kalila.”

“I love you too, Alouette,” Kalila said. “More than anything in this universe and any other.” The tremors were traveling up her legs, the pain nearly unbearable. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She hung up just as the tremors reached her upper body. Her arms began to shake uncontrollably, and her phone clattered to the bloody floor beside the kitchen knife and the dead man. The pain was worse than anything she had ever experienced, and she gritted her teeth against the screams that were rising up her throat. She would die with whatever dignity she could muster.

***

Seconds later, her dignity was nothing in the face of the pain that filled every corner of her shaking body. There was no hope of relief. She screamed, over and over again, as loudly as she could. There was no one to hear her.

***

There was peace, briefly, right before the end. 

As her heart slowed in her chest.

As her vision dimmed.

As her body ceased its violent shaking.

As the poison choked the life out of her. 

***

Her last thought was of Alouette.