Volume 10 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
How Did This Happen

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

How can I cut someone out of my life when at first we became friends out of romantic interest but now it's kind of just weird and I don't know how to talk to them about it?

Sincerely,
How Did This Happen

Volume 9 Issue 5
Miss Lonely Hearts
Nervous AF

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

This year will be my first Renn Fayre. I didn't go to the big meeting, but all my friends keep talking about how it's a tradition to kiss a bunch of people. I've haven’t had my first kiss yet, and it might be cool to kiss people at a big party like this, but how do I do it? I know consent is important, but how do you do that if it's loud or awkward? And what about the actual kissing part? Or should I just wait until I decide to kiss someone I really like some other time?

Sincerely,
Nervous AF

Volume 9 Issue 4
Miss Lonely Hearts
Shiver Me Tinders

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

While I've enjoyed some lovely long-term relationships in my time at Reed, I've never had a fling and feel like my college time to explore is quickly running out! I'm absolutely no good at flirting and don't like parties with alcohol very much, so meeting people for brief encounters that way doesn't seem like an option. Friends have had mixed experiences with Tinder, from downright unpleasant to amazing encounters that confirmed their being lesbian.

Should I sign up for a Tinder of my own? And if I do, how can I find a fun fling before getting spat out into the Real World?

Sincerely,
Shiver Me Tinders

Volume 9 Issue 3
Miss Lonely Hearts
Million Pieces

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

My girlfriend from home just broke up with me over spring break and I can't stop thinking about it. I really loved her and thought we would be together for much longer, but she didn't want to do long distance anymore. While I respect her decision, it's still shitty to deal with, especially being back on the Reed grind. I can barely focus on my readings. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Million Pieces

Volume 9 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
Two Depressed Cuties

Miss Lonely Hearts,

I have been in a loving relationship for three years and we have lived together for two. I have known about my clinical depression since I was three years old. Now my lover has started experiencing intense symptoms of depression and I believe we contribute to each other's mental health issues just by existing, listening, and commiserating because both of us are incredibly empathetic. I don't want to leave him because of this, but I can't see the way we are currently living as healthy. He is my inspiration and he has helped me fight a lot of my darkness, I want to be able to help him in the same ways. So the question I pose is this: how can two depressed cuties live together without remaining an echo chamber of misery? How can we break this cycle?

Best,

Empathetic Emily

Two Depressed Cuties

Volume 3 Issue 6

F. Wayne

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

In high school I had this friend. She was more of a satellite friend than anything until the fall of senior year. You see, she and I had another class together (I think it was English). For this class we had to do these group projects. As fate would have it she and I were paired up.  It was quickly decided (by her) that we would work at her house on the coming Saturday. I wasn't too psyched for it, but when Saturday came around I went to her house and my word I am happy I did. I got to the house and rang the doorbell and her mom answered. I mean, my friend was pretty cute, but her mom had got it goin’ on. My jaw dropped a little bit and my heart fell madly in love. After that Saturday, Stacy (my friend) and I became very good friends.  We would hang out during school, but more importantly I would come over after school. Maybe we’d hang around by her pool. Whatever our plans were, I would always be sure to suggest that we go to her place just so that I could talk to her mom.

After the school year ended, Stacy's mom asked me if I wanted to make any extra money during the summer. She suggested that I mow her lawn. I was quick to agree. There was this one time in particular that I will always remember. While I was mowing the lawn, Stacy's mom came out with just a towel on. I could tell she liked me from the way she stared and the way she said "you missed a spot over there."  

Well unfortunately I left for Reed at the end of that summer which meant I also left Stacy's mom before anything could happen.  Last semester I decided to leave it as just a fond memory and move on, you know? But just the other day I got this text message from Stacy! It rekindled all of my emotion for her mom. I haven't responded because I didn't know what to say. Miss Lonelyheartz, she's all I want, and I've waited for so long... I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom.  What do I do? What do I say?

– F. Wayne