Volume 10 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
How Did This Happen

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

How can I cut someone out of my life when at first we became friends out of romantic interest but now it's kind of just weird and I don't know how to talk to them about it?

Sincerely,
How Did This Happen

Volume 9 Issue 5
Miss Lonely Hearts
Nervous AF

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

This year will be my first Renn Fayre. I didn't go to the big meeting, but all my friends keep talking about how it's a tradition to kiss a bunch of people. I've haven’t had my first kiss yet, and it might be cool to kiss people at a big party like this, but how do I do it? I know consent is important, but how do you do that if it's loud or awkward? And what about the actual kissing part? Or should I just wait until I decide to kiss someone I really like some other time?

Sincerely,
Nervous AF

Volume 9 Issue 4
Miss Lonely Hearts
Shiver Me Tinders

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

While I've enjoyed some lovely long-term relationships in my time at Reed, I've never had a fling and feel like my college time to explore is quickly running out! I'm absolutely no good at flirting and don't like parties with alcohol very much, so meeting people for brief encounters that way doesn't seem like an option. Friends have had mixed experiences with Tinder, from downright unpleasant to amazing encounters that confirmed their being lesbian.

Should I sign up for a Tinder of my own? And if I do, how can I find a fun fling before getting spat out into the Real World?

Sincerely,
Shiver Me Tinders

Volume 9 Issue 3
Miss Lonely Hearts
Million Pieces

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

My girlfriend from home just broke up with me over spring break and I can't stop thinking about it. I really loved her and thought we would be together for much longer, but she didn't want to do long distance anymore. While I respect her decision, it's still shitty to deal with, especially being back on the Reed grind. I can barely focus on my readings. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Million Pieces

Volume 9 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
Two Depressed Cuties

Miss Lonely Hearts,

I have been in a loving relationship for three years and we have lived together for two. I have known about my clinical depression since I was three years old. Now my lover has started experiencing intense symptoms of depression and I believe we contribute to each other's mental health issues just by existing, listening, and commiserating because both of us are incredibly empathetic. I don't want to leave him because of this, but I can't see the way we are currently living as healthy. He is my inspiration and he has helped me fight a lot of my darkness, I want to be able to help him in the same ways. So the question I pose is this: how can two depressed cuties live together without remaining an echo chamber of misery? How can we break this cycle?

Best,

Empathetic Emily

Two Depressed Cuties

Volume 5 Issue 1

Jimmy Brooks

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

Before I came to Reed, I had a great girlfriend. I know you have to be close with your gf but we were super close... she used to call me all the time, sometimes even in the middle of the night. I knew when I left to come to Portland things would be different, but I guess I didn’t realize how different they would really be. So many things have changed since I left. We didn’t talk much during last semester, and I think things are pretty weird between us now. Even though I’ve lost contact with her, I’ve been hearing a lot about her from our friends that are still in the city.

Here’s the thing: ever since I left the city, my girl got a reputation for herself. I mean, everybody knows. She’s started wearing less and going out more, and I’ve heard from our mutual friends that she drinks glasses of champagne out on the dance floor. She even hangs out with some girls they’ve never seen before.  

As you can imagine, Miss Lonelyhearts, all of this has got me down. She’s got me stressed out! My mind just goes in circles. I’m constantly thinking about how it was with her and all the things we did together. Most often, I find myself thinking about how she used to call me on my cell phone late in the night when she needed my love. I knew when that hotline bling that could only mean one thing. But now, she doesn’t need my love. I wonder all the time if she’s bending over backwards for someone else, or if she’s getting nasty for someone else. She used to stay at home and be a good girl. Now, she’s never alone! It seems like she’s always with someone else. In my opinion, she doesn’t need nobody else. She should just be herself! But right now, Miss Lonelyhearts, she’s someone else.  

I’m not asking for advice on how to get her back. Ever since I left the city, she and I just don’t get along.  She makes me feel like I did her wrong. Yet, I need help with this break up.  She’s changed for the worse. I still like her; I think about her all the time. I care for her, but she’s not the girl I used to know. How do I go about this??

Much love,

Jimmy Brooks