Volume 10 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
How Did This Happen

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

How can I cut someone out of my life when at first we became friends out of romantic interest but now it's kind of just weird and I don't know how to talk to them about it?

Sincerely,
How Did This Happen

Volume 9 Issue 5
Miss Lonely Hearts
Nervous AF

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

This year will be my first Renn Fayre. I didn't go to the big meeting, but all my friends keep talking about how it's a tradition to kiss a bunch of people. I've haven’t had my first kiss yet, and it might be cool to kiss people at a big party like this, but how do I do it? I know consent is important, but how do you do that if it's loud or awkward? And what about the actual kissing part? Or should I just wait until I decide to kiss someone I really like some other time?

Sincerely,
Nervous AF

Volume 9 Issue 4
Miss Lonely Hearts
Shiver Me Tinders

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

While I've enjoyed some lovely long-term relationships in my time at Reed, I've never had a fling and feel like my college time to explore is quickly running out! I'm absolutely no good at flirting and don't like parties with alcohol very much, so meeting people for brief encounters that way doesn't seem like an option. Friends have had mixed experiences with Tinder, from downright unpleasant to amazing encounters that confirmed their being lesbian.

Should I sign up for a Tinder of my own? And if I do, how can I find a fun fling before getting spat out into the Real World?

Sincerely,
Shiver Me Tinders

Volume 9 Issue 3
Miss Lonely Hearts
Million Pieces

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

My girlfriend from home just broke up with me over spring break and I can't stop thinking about it. I really loved her and thought we would be together for much longer, but she didn't want to do long distance anymore. While I respect her decision, it's still shitty to deal with, especially being back on the Reed grind. I can barely focus on my readings. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Million Pieces

Volume 9 Issue 1
Miss Lonely Hearts
Two Depressed Cuties

Miss Lonely Hearts,

I have been in a loving relationship for three years and we have lived together for two. I have known about my clinical depression since I was three years old. Now my lover has started experiencing intense symptoms of depression and I believe we contribute to each other's mental health issues just by existing, listening, and commiserating because both of us are incredibly empathetic. I don't want to leave him because of this, but I can't see the way we are currently living as healthy. He is my inspiration and he has helped me fight a lot of my darkness, I want to be able to help him in the same ways. So the question I pose is this: how can two depressed cuties live together without remaining an echo chamber of misery? How can we break this cycle?

Best,

Empathetic Emily

Two Depressed Cuties

Volume 1 Issue 5

Seeking Adoption

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts, 

I have serious conundrum. I would like Robert Knapp to be my grandfather. I know that he’s married and he’s never met my grandmother but I feel they’d hit it off ! She has a PhD in English and they could talk about Shakespeare and theatre to their hearts delight. After all, didn’t Romeo say, “How sweet is love itself possess’d / when but love’s shadows are so rich in joy”? 

I want Robert Knapp’s beard in my Christmas card, not just the beard, but also a Norman Rockwell-esque picture of us and their domestic bliss. How can I help the two of them start this whirlwind romance that will forever change their (and by extension my) lives. 

Sincerely, 

Wanting to be grandson