Libra - Marbled Loaf
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Some, swirled Scales, may dismiss you as the choice of the indecisive, but a refined palate knows that you are simply the perfect adaptable balance of your constituent mix. A whole greater than the sum of its parts, indeed!
Scorpio - Olive Bread
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Though you may not be to everyone’s taste, salty Scorpion, the sophisticates who suit your tastes will find your distinct and distinctly scrumptious flavor quite to their own liking. Rest assured that you are precisely what someone’s sammie needs─certainly your own.
Sagittarius - Garlic Bread
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You are, in any bystander’s unbiased opinion, god’s gift to bread-eatingkind. You are the bane of the gluten intolerant and the shining jewel in the pantheon of accomplishments in grain artisanship. Don’t forget to cut yourself the slack those who love you do; while you may strive for perfection, airy Archer, remember that you are beloved even at your worst.
Capricorn - Sourdough
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Discipline is the name of the game, and you know just how much nurturing goes into the firm but airy structure of a good loaf of sourdough. Trust the process, sour Sea Goat, but be willing to cross your fingers and acknowledge the sway of chance as you pull your labor of love from the oven.
Aquarius - Milk Bread
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Flexible but resilient, quaint ‘Quarius, you are admired and adored for your ability to bounce back into the same adaptable shape we’ve come to know and love. Though some may say this fondness may come and go as you do, you know exactly how enduring a winning combination is.
Pisces - Brioche
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Delicate, captivating, and impossible to put down once bitten into. My fishy friend, you have just the balance of light’n’sweet and rich’n’smooth. You can sit down at a coffee shop and mull over your next poem as you savor a roll of brioche, or set your attentive, sensitive nature deftly to the task of handling brioche dough to serve to your closest friends.
Aries - Buttermilk Biscuit
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Generous, buttery, and beloved, robust Ram, you have a warmth deeper down than folks may give you credit for. Even those who may accuse you of being flaky or overwhelming keep coming right back to your homey appeal. And we all know you’re your best self with juuust a little honey.
Taurus - Rye
Apr 20 - May 20
It’s all about the heart and the hearty, and you know how to settle in and fill a room with your tasty, aromatic presence. You know how to hunker down and set to work perfecting the science and the art of your craft in equal measure, emerging on the other side with a well-rounded appreciation of the sensory subtleties you offer with full belly and full heart.
Gemini - Everything Bagel
May 21 - Jun 20
And I mean a REAL one too, tasty Twin. People love to debate and judge your authenticity as if you aren’t delectable in all your forms. You’re flavorful variability all rolled into one versatile little package; lose no sleep over those who would disdain the delicious number you are.
Cancer - Challah
Jun 21 - Jul 22
Tasty, long-lasting, and with an enduring subtle sweetness that reminds those who enjoy you of how much more than mere nourishment a meal can mean, crusty Crab, with a strength and simple elegance to your form that makes you a truly timeless treat.
Leo - Focaccia
Jul 23 - Aug 22
Lavishly adorned, you draw attention to yourself but may become tough at the hand of the average joe attempting to engage with your majesty. With a bit of TLC, loudmouth Lion, even you can become the tender flavorfest you were born to be celebrated as.
Virgo - Baguette
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Classy and classic, don’t let a crusty exterior fool you, vivacious Virgin─inside, you’re a sensitive softie, and people are perpetually drawn to your spring, zest, and all-purpose ability to complement anything, or stand quite comfortably alone.
p.s. A Capricorn moon overrides all other placements; you are a stale saltine.